How to Avoid Valentine’s Day 

by Tony Chiu

February 14th is rapidly approaching. For many in love they’ll be receiving roses and chocolates, for many others they either don’t care or flat out hate it!  The boys that I spoke to in my class do not like it, probably because they want to act tough and big or something. For me, I hate Valentine’s Day because I do not like LOVE UUUUUUHHHHHHH. Plus Valentine is very hard to spell, you know the word but when your ask to spell it, you will probably forget how to spell it. You might spell it like “Valantine” or “Velentine” or “Velantine”.    I am going to tell you steps on how to avoid Valentine’s Day. Read on and be part of the “Anti-Valentine’s Day Club”. 

The following quotes display what students and two teachers feel about Valentine’s Day!:

STEVIE MAISINET 702: “I feel there should be a NATIONAL SINGLE PEOPLE DAY!”

ELLA MAI 701: “I don’t really care about it.”

ERIC CHEN 601: “BAD.”

TOBIAS CHEN 801: “I’m neutral. It’s a good day for couples to be together.”

JOANNE WU 701: “The day is for adults more than kids. Adults get into relationships more.”

MS . FASANO: “I’m not a fan of it. I think you should do special things for your significant other everyday.”

MS. ARRIGO: “I like Valentine’s Day! It’s such a great excuse for delicious candy and beautiful flowers. When I was a little kid (all the way up until I moved out of my family’s house for college) my father would leave me a heart of chocolates on our kitchen table. I always looked forward to Valentine’s Day for this reason! Also, my family dog growing up (a huge Labrador Retriever-Shepherd mix) was named Cupid! Valentine’s Day is fine by me!”

TONY CHIU (ME) “I do not like this VALENTINE’S DAY THING because I don’t consider myself a romantic!”

STEP 1: DO NOT LOOK AT OR MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ANYONE

If you look at the opposite gender, you might give someone the wrong idea. (The idea is they think you love them uuuuhhhhhhh). So just look up at the ceiling or down at the ground. I recommend looking down because you can see your classroom doors and the stairs. Looking up will make you trip down the stairs and we want to avoid Valentine’s Day and not go to the hospital.

STEP 2: WEAR BLACK AND GREEN CLOTHES

The main colors on Valentine’s Day are red and pink. Pink being a lighter shade of red. So what’s the opposite of red and pink, it’s GREEN. So you are not going with the theme of the day which is Valentine’s Day. Black is a dark color and most of the time it does not represent love or good so it’s PERFECT. Also the green might give you good luck.

STEP 3:BY GIFTS FOR YOURSELF

So on Valentine’s Day you give gifts to your loved ones. Well don’t waste that green cash on things for other people, buy stuff for yourself. This is going against the norm of Valentine’s Day so it’s PERFECT. Plus you will save money since you have a lot of loved ones. So just make sure you buy chocolate and not flowers because we don’t want unwanted guest at your front door (BEES).

STEP 4:GO TO VALENTINE’S DAY PARTY

SOOOOOO you are probably wanting to know why you should go to Valentine’s Day Party since there will be couples and Valentine stuff well let me explain. At a party there are games, activities, drinks, and food, WAIT food. At a party they give you food, FOR FREE YAS. So you will save money on your meal. Plus the food will be gooooodddddd. The food at a party are junk food like chicken, chicken nuggets, pizza, burgers, donuts, chips, candy, soda (Even though soda is not a food, I’M STILL COUNTING IT), french fries wait I am going on a tangent (look up tangent if you don’t know the word because I’m not telling you)

STEP 5: PRETEND THE DAY IS NORMAL

So Valentine’s Day is called Valentine’s Day because you do something special. If you do not celebrate it then it’s not a special day. You just took out the word Valentine out of Valentine’s Day to make just the word day. So just walk around like it’s a regular school day.   Act normal – oh wait, you are not acting normal because you are looking down at the ground all day, man what a weirdo.

STEP 6: HAVE AN EXCUSE

Have an excuse so you have to go or do something so you do not have to deal with this Valentine’s Day stitch. You also could go home and play video games or eat junk food (JUNK FOOD YOU HAD TO PAY). You could also over sleep. Sleeping makes time fly by so when you wake up, you will only have to deal with half of the day. Wait why are you sleeping in the morning, man what a weirdo.

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